March 2026 Newsletter

Thinking about Self Image as I approach a Season of High Profile.

There is something about growing up that makes you look at yourself more seriously,

It is interesting as when you are younger you have insecurities about your looks, but nothing else really. As you get older you accept your looks a lot more. Apart from the things that make you look old, you may not still like things but they are you so you accept them a lot more and if not you may decide to change things

It is not so much that you want to pretend to be younger, it is more that you don’t want to look and feel old!
We want the best of both worlds, to look Old Enough and to Feel Healthy and be Able to do all of the things we want physically with the same vigour and energy as when we were young and yet to have maturity and security in who we are alongside dollops of wisdom learned over the years…

I feel pretty good about who I am now, although I have faults and I have weaknesses and I want to continue to change into a better version of myself.

Everyone has faults we are not a failure by recognising and admitting our faults; that is not weakness, in fact, it is more of a weakness to not be able to see ourselves properly.

No one is perfect, so we never will be either.
I’m not meaning in looks I mean in character and intentions.

It is hard to really see yourself sometimes and recently I keep a very large magnifying glass on myself and Sadly I see things I had not noticed before and that I do not like!

The brain has a very clever way of protecting us from ourselves. As if we are some kind of endangered species that cannot be allowed to see our own frailties and mishaps, or rather not the ones we need to see the most! The ones that really matter, instead, we obsess over the quirks and physical things that probably end up being positives or at the very worst things no one else would ever be bothered by but they bother us!

But the things that really need confronting and changing… we are blind to them, until we finally do see or are willing to see… and then it is the most humbling, sobering effect,,,

This could be why some people HATE to be alone, as they know they are going to find out who they really are once they spend time with themselves!

I was single for 8 years and spent a lot of time alone when my children were away also in lockdown… but even then I didn’t “get” all of me.

It is important not to become paranoid when seeing your parts that need changing, it is never too late and actually recognising these elements is the start of being able to change. As you once know, you cannot unknow,
If you know what I mean?!

So I’m on another journey of changing and correcting and being mindful of who I am, who I want to be, who I am becoming and how I affect others.

I want to make people happy and I want them to like me, but my sense of self-worth is not dependent on what others think of me.

It would be wonderful to successfully and painlessly evolve and change and to come out unscathed, but it is more important to know that even if we don’t that it is not a catastrophe, it just means eating some humble pie and acquiring some bravery, to accept that others Are able to see the parts of ourselves we do not like whilst working on changing.

No matter how many times we fail, we are only failures if we give up and stop trying,

A Loser is not coming last, it’s giving up on yourself, as it is possible to come last and still have run your personal best and fastest race!
Perspective is very important.

I like myself, but I don’t like everything I do, and although I do want to change those things , I refuse to reject myself, even if others do.

God made us,
So I am willing to surrender myself to God’s Will and Plans for me as I know His best interests are at the Heart of them
I will try to remain open and willing while God Is in the process of refining me and changing me and I will relax and enjoy life while He does it! Amen

I think it’s important to apologise to anyone we have hurt even if it was unintentionally especially back in the day when I was young and trying to survive and find my way and trying not to get hurt myself!

Fear is such a root to evil
We have to be bold and strong and know who we are and what we want and not just be blown around by the winds of life
We need to be anchored to something stronger and greater then our selves, for me that is God
It is unfair to expect a person to be your God.
Unfair to them and unfair to you
As they can not be that, even if they want to, no more than you can be that to them.

I wish there were books about how to have great relationships… maybe they don’t seem romantic enough when you take all the drama and heartache out of it…
But I know it doesn’t have to be that way
Maybe that‘s something else that I need to add to my list of things to do.

Write the greatest love story.
I feel like I know what it looks like now …

In the meantime

Love yourself enough that you can actually look at all of your faults and address them.

Apologise for mistakes and acknowledge them properly in yourself, even allow your thoughts to explore and understand why you did certain things and even then, if what you did to save yourself caused someone else pain still acknowledge that it was wrong to hurt them, even if you feel you had no other choice.

Unlocking all these fractured bits also releases them from your heart.

Guilt, Anger, Pain and all Cruelty and all kindness towards you and from you are stored in your body, in your heart!

You will never get rid of them until you acknowledge your Part or Wrong in the stories honestly in your soul.
Once you do, you will feel some feelings of regret and sadness that you know are your wrongdoing in the events
You may have forgiven the other people for their parts but now it’s important to forgive yourself for your part…

Maybe this is why it’s easy for me to say certain things that seem awful that I have done.
Because I forgive myself finally and I know I acted in fear and anger.
Fear of being abandoned and anger at not being wanted completely the way I wanted to be wanted ….

I guess I’m seeking peace, Inner peace, deep inner peace
Or maybe this is what you have to go through in order to have deep inner peace.

You may not ever get to tell everyone you hurt why and that you are sorry, but you can still write a letter to them and hope that one day they get to read it or leave the letter with your
Well!!

This sounds so nuts and crazy
but it’s because I know our Souls and Spirits live on forever (wouldn’t you love to receive a letter of apology from someone who hurt you?
Even if they were dead?)
So even thinking about and addressing the things in your heart means they can pick it up in their Spirits, you can send it to them in a prayer, it may come to them in a dream or just a good feeling of being “released”

I do not KNOW, but there is a real feeling in my heart that it IS so!
So let’s try it!
Imagine affecting them that way
Even if you are enemies, releasing the negative feelings and just carrying on with your life …

You will never know how many bricks of pain and regret are loaded onto your heart until you start doing this, even if you think you don’t care or you never think about those things, they are there …. In you and it’s shocking how light you feel afterwards and at peace.

And then you can say “ wow! I need to make sure I don’t do anything like that again or think that way again. I need to fix the part of me that made me choose to do that…
You are not a bad person, just a hurt or scared person trying to feel safe or defended

Survival mode is a wide, destructive path ruled by fear.
But that is not the way we want to live, out of fear, we want to live in Love and from Love
Perfect Love casts out all fear. Right now, that road is narrow and winding as so many are hardened

Is this Corny? It is a bit Kooky probably to some!
It always seems to come back to Love and God for me …

God Bless You
God made you to Love You. You are Sooo loved, Amen