If you Find Out How Old I am, Please Don’t Tell Me!
One of the things I don’t like about age is a kind of acknowledgement of not having much time left to live
I am like this even with my dog!
I don’t like to think about how old she is, as I see it as a weird or worrying marker of how many years I have left with her!
I KNOW that God determines how long we live and the way we treat ourselves, of course, there are circumstances, accidents, and health issues that factor in, but I decided to detach myself from limiting beliefs and things that scare me or worry me unnecessarily.
I don’t ever want to feel like I am counting my days or years down to a point where most people consider I should be a certain way or act a certain way or accepting that I should be preparing to die.
I have the unreasonable desire to live forever and for everyone I love too as well!
I am trying to figure it out, as of course, all things come to an end eventually, but by the time it happens, perhaps a supernatural acceptance kicks in, and it is not scary or awful at all, and things are reconciled.
It is not only my fear that drives the desire, it is the genuine wish to remain healthy and happy and living, because I enjoy life so much and the people in my life and our animals , I love nature and find human development fascinating, and so many things interesting,
I have so many more books to read and experiences to experience and things to eat and taste and thoughts to ponder and unravel, people to meet, music to hear, my endless curiosity never ends and doesn’t want too.
So as I celebrate my Birthday this year, it is not a number , it is more a gratitude for another year of life and of a life I pray will extend and extend at least until my desire to live ends and my acceptance of dying is acceptable to me…
I am in no way ashamed of my age, but I love blurring the number , making people see ME, not my age. I am sure they try to work it out ( if it is important to them, but I hope it is with the same fascination and curiosity that I have.
Not to judge me, but to celebrate the continuation of my vitality and ability to grow and learn and to be happy, joyfully healthy, and at peace with who I am and who I am becoming day by day.
So my birthday wish is for us all to be able to live ageless, grateful, and at peace . Celebrating our Furtherhood, without counting the years to arrive at a place of inevitable end .
I also pray that my pessimism or dread will continue to be counteracted by being healthy,happy, and at peace without anyone slamming in my face how they believe I should define myself.
Call me Cowardly, but I am genuinely happier this way !
So to be clear
If you ever find out how old I am, Please do not tell me because I Do NOT want to Know✋🏾🙏🏾💪🏾💋
